"Hey, U up? Wanna feel good... REAL good... this weekend? Get out on the water with Lazy Otter Outfitters. We don't want to be rushed. We'll take our time floating on the uncrowded, Undiscovered French Broad. It's beautiful, just like you. And you know what? We can even use our tubes if it feels right."
(In case you didn't understand him, Larry the World's Most Seductive Otter is suggesting that you book a paddle trip for Labor Day weekend! And water levels are back up thanks to the rain, so tubing is available through Monday!)